STOP PLAYING SMALL

Stop Playing Small: Claim Your Space and Power

Have you ever shared an idea only to have it ignored? Or stepped into a room and felt unseen? Personal slights sting, but they pale in comparison to the systematic erasure facing African American history and culture today.

When Excellence Becomes a Threat

“You can win, but not too much. You can excel, but not too much. You can compete, but you must not beat me.”

This week at the US Open, after Taylor Townsend’s stunning victory, her opponent launched a verbal attack questioning Townsend’s class and education. It wasn’t just sour grapes—it was a clear dog whistle of racial fear and supremacy.

Shrinking So Others Feel Secure

Even well-meaning White allies can celebrate us only so long as we stay “under the radar” and don't surpass them. One of my mentor once told me that in every job they held, a White colleague resented their success. I’m willing to bet every Black woman can name similar stories from her own life.

In moments like this, you might feel tempted to dim your light, take up less space, or play small. But Nelson Mandela reminds us that shrinking to make others feel comfortable does not serve the world. Who are you not to be great?

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Playing small can look like:

• Holding back your opinions and insights

• Downplaying or hiding your accomplishments

• Avoiding goals because you feel unworthy

• Charging less than you’re worth for your skills and services

Last year, I bought my first luxury car and immediately felt self-conscious driving it on campus. Sarcastic comments seeped in, and I almost talked myself into returning it. Then I remembered: I alone am paying the bill. My success is not up for debate.

Strategies to Step Fully Into Your Power

• Celebrate every win—big or small—and share it proudly in every room you enter

• Distance yourself from anyone who questions or downplays your achievements

• Embrace your titles and credentials—if you’ve earned “Dr. Stacey,” insist on being called that

• Lean into the discomfort of asking for what you deserve, whether it’s a raise, a contract, or a seat at the table

Join the Free Workshop

Next Thursday at 7 pm, I’m hosting a FREE 45-minute online workshop on how to stop playing small and reach your full potential. This session is for Black professionals, entrepreneurs, and creatives who are ready to claim their space without apology.

Register here:

I look forward to meeting you and helping you light up every room you walk into.

Remember Nelson Mandela’s the wise words:

“Your playing small does not serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. Who are you not to be great?”